I don't know if you've realized this but I'm a sucker for analogies. I love them. And when they're relevant to my life currently, oh my goodness, you might as well wrap my heart up to go. I love being able to create analogies on my own as well.

Today, my friend Devyn passed by in a rush. It seemed like he was going to just tap me to say hello, but he didn't even really give me eye contact. Didn't really take any notice to it, just assumed he got distracted in his thought and a tap was all he could give me as he passed by haha. Anyways, as I was listening to audio on P4CM.com, which is amaaaazing might I add, I finally saw that he had left me a fortune cookie to put up on the wall in my office. I wonder why no one makes scripture cookies... those would probably be a little more effective haha.

Anyways, the instance got me thinking about God. Do you ever feel like God kind of just isn't paying attention to you? Not doing works in you and you're just going through life. It's not like you're no longer under his love and protection, but just like He's a little too busy working in the lives of others. And maybe sometimes He'll give you a little something, a little spark, a little tap, but that quickly fades away and you wonder if he ever even gave you any true attention in the first place. Have you ever felt like that? And you're so wrapped up in yourself and your life and your own problems and how God's not paying any attention to you that you can't even hear the things He's trying to say to you, you can't see the message He's already left for you.

This past weekend at Campus Harvest, we had a speaker that actually spoke about the silent sovereignty of God. He told us how God's silence is not His absence. God's still doing things in your life right now and you should live in the light of this. God has placed you where you are to work through you. Maybe in the midst of everything that's going on, God is trying to show you where your purpose lies, lessons that He needs you to learn for things that will come to you in your future.

"The King upholds you. He lives within you. Is there anything you cannot do? Is there anything you should fear?"

He told us about a Australian Olympist with the last name Bradberry. He ended up winning the gold because the skaters in 1-4 place all tumbled upon each other in the final moments and since he was staying steady skating he was unaffected by their mishap and skated on through to the victory. More than half of life is just about showing up and steadying the course.

Another speaker during Campus Harvest spoke to us about our feelings. He reminded us that God is the spirit and those who worship Him must worship Him in Spirit and in truth. And if you believe this, the spirit is inside of you and you should reside in the truth which is the Scripture. The Scripture dictates truth. He reminded us to dictate our walks with God based on HIS WORD. Not based on our feelings. God is bigger than our feelings. God is bigger than our moments of doubts and uncertainty and moments where we feel attacked and alone. And even if you can't currently feel His presence, if you reside in His word, you know He is always with you.

In the Passion 4 Christ Movement podcast I'm listening to, the speaker provided an amazing analogy about authority. When children do something like break a vase, even when their parents aren't there, they know how their parents are going to react. They might know they're going to get a whoopin or maybe that they are going to get grounded, or whatever the punishment may be. They know it even though their parents are there because that authority is still present, even when it seems like it's not.

And that's like God. Even if you can't see Him or feel Him, you know Him. You know what He's told you and you know His word is true. If He is always with you and 10,000 angels are always camping around you then even if you can't feel it, you better believe those angels are still camping around you. When you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, He is right there beside you.

Even if the world is telling you He's not and trying to distract you from His glory, you can find comfort and assurance and the truth in His word. Moses knew God in such a way that reality was not what he saw, but what God was teaching him. Reality is not what you see, but what you read in the Bible. The word of God is the truth. The word of God determines reality. It may be really happening, but it's not really true, or it's not really the right way.

In some moments, I honestly wish I could just sit in God's wisdom all day long. And just sit here and learn and soak it all up. Because it's just so beautiful. I love listening to people who are so passionate about God and seeing how God works through them and the wisdom and love He fills them with. And He can do the same with you and I, if we only reach out to Him in faith. And that's just the truth.

LIFE

is amazing.

I love the opportunities I have to learn and be filled outside of the classroom. I love filling my weekends with people I love and things I love to do. And have I mentioned how I love, love, loooooove passionate people? Because I do.

This weekend, I got to experience all of that. This weekend, I got to attend Campus Harvest with these loooovely girls (Erika, Sheridan, Heidi, my sweet and pregnant mentor Emily, Brittany, Lauren, Ayke my precious little, Eden, Blake, Thuy-an, Courtney, and Laura!)

Some of these girls attend the Female Bible Study each week, which I've noted on before. It was so incredible getting to see all of these girls, as well as so many young people draw closer to God. We had the most incredible speakers share their own testimonies and stories and it was all so beautiful. I even got the opportunity to go on stage and speak about how our Bible Study began, and about listening to God, when he speaks to you. Later on that evening, I also had the incredible opportunity to baptize Sheridan. I can't imagine someone being more excited about the experience and I'm so glad that I had the opportunity to do this for such an amazing girl who is so on fire for Christ. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL! :) I was really nervous hahaha, but it was awesome. I loved being able to stand and prayer this weekend and watch as God moved in the lives of everyone around me. I'm also glad I got to see the SMU kids for a little bit, though I wish we had gotten to spend more time with them. They are such a diverse group of individuals that work so well together cohesively. I absolutely love them and all of their big, warm hearts! I am rather distraught, however, that I didn't get a picture with one of my new favoritest people, Esther Oh. But I'm sooo glad that I did get to spend even the tiniest bit of time with her over the weekend, because she was up there rocking the stage, worshipping Jesus for a great portion of it! BEAUTIFUL!

Over the past couple weeks, I've heard time and TIME again about how God is working in the lives of my loved ones. It's so beautiful and uplifting and encouraging to hear. It seriously warms my heart and being able to share the experiences of how He is working in mine through my faith. I LOVE IT. Faith is AMAZING. I'm so excited about it and I want to spend more time exploring this and growing in it. I truly want to be transformed from the inside out and I'm really enjoying the process of getting there. One of my main prayers for this year was for the Lord to make me more vulnerable, something that I'm completely uncomfortable with, an idea in itself that makes me cringe. AND I THINK IT'S HAPPENING. I've already been incredibly more emotional in 2013 than I've been in the past. And not in the sense of little fits of anger haha, but instead in a sense of allowing words, actions, deeds, and thoughts to penetrate my heart in a way that I had a hard time accepting in many instances in the past. It's still a struggle, but it's a work that is certainly in progress!

Another few things I'm grateful for: understanding and open minds. I'm grateful for the opportunity to be able to share things that touch me with people who aren't of the same faith as me, but who can listen to and appreciate my stories. I'm also incredibly thankful for people who I can speak to about my faith and who understand and can uplift me and who can point out the things that I've blinded myself from. Who can provide Godly viewpoints on the circumstances I've boxed myself into, and who speak and think with the heart and mind of God, instead of one of this world. Sometimes a simple understanding goes so much further than you could possibly expect. 

THERE IS SO MUCH I WANT TO SHARE WITH YOU, BUT I CAN ALREADY FEEL MY BLOG BECOMING CLUTTERED. I want to tell you about everything I learned at Campus Harvest and make a blog post based on my notes, I want to obviously show y'all a couple of food pictures and some ratings on those items, and then also I want to tell you about my NEW PRECIOUS LITTLE AYKE, who you probably saw was briefly mentioned before. But I will pace these things out in a timely, cohesive manner so it doesn't become completely overwhelming. 

There's really mounds and mounds more to say, but until next time!

Things on my mind

Let's just start this off with a little checklist, shall we?

• It's interesting what makes people tick. I've seen some of the most unfazed people I know think things that seem minute to me are be very big ordeals. 
• We're all connected. I called into work to work to find out my schedule and my boss was just thinking about me. On my way to school, I was thinking about my friend Michelle, who I ended up running into after my classes and went to lunch with. 
• Don't judge a book by it's cover. I went to a restaurant, that has quite frankly kind of scared me for a while, today. I love new and interesting places, but I'm a germaphobe and really appreciate a sense of cleanliness, so since I once entered the doors one day a few months ago (and swiftly made an excuse to leave) I've been very skeptical about it. However, the food was good. I won't be frequenting there though, but I'm glad I did give it a chance (and that I went with a "seasoned" veteran... ha! Seasoned... cause we're talking about food... anyways...)
• God works. He just does. Take this in any sense you'd like. He works to make all things come together for my good. He works in my favor. He works to take away your stress, problems, and pain. Since my last post, I've spent time (though not as much as I'd like) in prayer and trying to soak up more of His knowledge and wisdom and HEED what I'm taking in. And the crazy thing is, God has shown up. Again and again and again. And it's really coool and REALLY WEIRD. And I'm surprised by it and not surprised by it all at the same time. But I love it and I love hearing other's testimonies this week too, because it's been filled with them and how amazingly God is working in everyone's lives! I can't wait to expand and share more :)

A New Week, A New Story.

Honestly, today, I am overwhelmed. I am searching for my peace in Christ, which I did a pretty great job maintaing in the days prior to last night. I'm trying to push back all the negative thoughts and emotions, but it's also resulted in my pushing back all of the yucky work I have to do too. Everything feels so fuzzy in my mind. Opaque and uncertain. I am trying to rush through everything with the mentality that I'm taking it slow and being still. I'm overanalyzing everything to the point where I'm not sure what I think anymore. I'm letting things get to me, plaque up my heart and weigh down my soul. I can feel myself becoming heavier and heavier and addition to all the mental and physical clutter I lag around, I feel like I'm dragging myself as well.

 I feel like I just need to breathe.

And getting away for a bit would be nice too. I honestly cannot wait until Campus Harvest because a life transformation is something I need. I want to feel renewed, like I have a fresh start, a clear mind, soul, and conscious. I AM READY!!! Until then, I am going to just work on building up my spiritual warrior on the inside of me and appreciate each day for the magnificence it is in God's glory. I'd been doing really well about not sweating the small stuff... which is just about everything in this life. So I don't intend to let it keep me down now! I need to return to Psalm 46:10 and really meditate in the word this week, and I shall! Lent starts on Wednesday and I feel like this year it's vital that I choose something really big to give up. I want to fast from something that has a stronghold over me, so that I am really broken down and made and kept vulnerable and weak so that I keep my concentration affixed on God and can really listen to what He is saying to me.

In church we are covering a series on faith, which is perfect for me right now, to be honest. My mom just bought me a beautiful new journal, which I am going to make the conscious effort to write in daily because I feel like things are so much clearer to me when they are written down. Verbal words are not my forte.

Despite everything running ramped in my mind, this weekend really was wonderful. It started off with me eating at a new Mediterranean restaurant on campus called Grip, with a cute little lady named  Rebecca who I truly admire! She has such a sense of respect for herself and her happiness, which really is something to be fascinated by.

 Then, that afternoon, Victoria and I went to the Botanical Gardens to take some "not so surprise" photos of one of my first friends at college, Elizabeth, and her boyfriend Jay! She had planned a cute surprise shoot for their 1 year anniversary, but he caught on a little quicker than we'd hoped!  Regardless, we had so much fun with these two!

I'm so blessed to have such a sweet, funny, and playful business partner and best friend. And though it may seem like all we do is goof around... we did get a few good shots of the sweet, sweet couple in there too ;)

Afterwards, we met up with some amazing friends at my new favorite place: Brewed. It's this awesome coffee shop/ brewery with mouth watering sweet potato fries - and let me tell ya, I've had my fair share of sweet potato fries.

Mirror pic in a bathroom taken by two photographers. Can I get a triple whammy?! But then you see how beautiful the mirror and bathroom are and how magical this place is and you can't help but forgive us and love us again, right?!

It was such a fun time with Mandeep and Naureen, two beautiful people who I rarely get to see. Mandeep is basically the next President and filled us in on his encounter with Jay-Z --- seriously, the fist bumped and Naureen told us all about-- well a lot of things. Naureen is like me hahaha we tend to talk, a lot. We enjoyed our conversation over featured delicious Korean BBQ sliders, Gourmet Mac & Cheese, Vegetable Soup (Victoria said yay, Naureen said Nay) and my amazing sweet potato fries (Mandeep got the regular fries, which weren't bad but seriously, common! SWEET POTATO FOR THE WIN!) We also had this delicious Leprechaun apple cider wine, that actually makes me think there's hope for me to one day leisurely enjoy the beverage. And last but not least, we might have met the coolest person on the face of the earth. He was our waiter and I have no clue what his name was and I, regretfully, didn't snag a photo with him of his incredible tattoo. Like seriously, my new favorite person. LEMME TELL YA WHY:

He had this beautiful tattoo of three apertures on his left arm. Unknowingly, I asked if he was a photographer. He responded with an obvious yes, haha, but my curiosity only stemmed from there. One of the apertures was red, while the other two appeared to be black in the dim lit venue (I later on found that one was purple). He explained to me that the three apertures represented the Holy Trinity. The first, the red, stood for the blood of Christ. The middle one was purple, standing for loyalty. And the last one was wide and black, representing how he needed to keep his focus on God, allowing everything else in the background to be blurred out. This was the general gist of what he told us. There was definitely more in depth things he said, but I can't remember it all. All I know is that's now officially the most beautiful, meaningful tattoo I've ever seen. LOVE. 

[ imagine picture of me and sweet souled waiter with beautiful, inspiring tattoo here ]

 On Saturday, Victoria and I had to take a few group photos in the morning in Dallas. It was freezing, so afterwards we went to get something hot for our bellies!

We found ourselves nestled into Opening Bell Coffee, with two warm mugs of frothy, Vanilla Chai Tea! It was definitely a nice little place to step back and relax on a foggy, chilly day.

Later on that day, I got to spend some time with my mommy which included a few of my favorite things: hot tea (courtesy of Beep, also known as Rebecca mentioned earlier), McDonald's apple pie, and gold foiled cards! <3

Here's to an awesome week. I hope all of you have one too! <3

Thankful (a week in photos)

Today was an absolutely lovely day spent in Dallas with one of my best friends Monica, and her lovely friends Kathleen and Emily, as an extended celebration of her 21st birthday. It was such a refreshing day, spent out of the mundane. Bishop Arts District always makes me feel at home. It's filled with creatives, quirky shops, art pieces, music, murals, delicious restaurants, and couples getting their photos taken. Today was no different! It started off with chicken and waffles, brisket hash, huevos rancheros, coffee, & beignets at Oddfellows. 

Afterwards, we walked around Bishop Arts a bit and I finally found We are 1976!!!! Thanks to Mon's keen eye. Let me just tell you, this place is like a little piece of heaven. I walked in and my face literally lit up. I instantaneously felt at home. Like, really. If you know me, you know I'm all about that stationary and office accessory life. Throw in some eclectic touches & a few Rifle Paper Co items and you've officially captured my heart. 

Unfortunately, we had to cut our time at heaven on earth short to go see a wonderful movie called Silver Linings Playbook. We moseyed on down to The Angelika, which is actually a really comfortable movie theatre. Worth the $8 matinee fee. Not to mention the quality of the film. Loved it. The message of the film was beautiful and really encouraged me to look at Sundays in a new light. Instead of the day before dreaded Monday, it gave me a new perspective on being a day to reflect on everything to be thankful for in week you're leaving behind. It also gave me the thought of each Sunday being the start of something new; something that can be filled with countless opportunities. Something to be excited about.

We walked around and stopped by a few more shops in Mockingbird. Got some lovely navajo hipster house shoes and a cute blazer at UO and fell in love with the Signature and Indigo Waters scents at Franchesca's! Can't wait to get them!

Exactly a week ago, ironically enough, I was also in Bishop Arts, for Monica's 21st birthday! We had a delicious dinner at Eno's where I ate Pasta Carbonara. It was incredibly cheesy and rich, filled with pancetta, basil, and red pepper, simply delicious.

So glad that in addition to the yumminess, I got to spend some time with some girls I'm incredibly grateful for. After eating, Janie, Victoria, Laura and I walked around a bit and ended up going to try some new delicacies at Dude, Sweet. They never cease to amaze me with their uniquely constructed dark chocolates. If you haven't gone there, you definitely should! I dont know where else you can try chocolate with chipotle, or roses, or blue cheese. Trust me, it's all good. And I don't even like dark chocolate. 

 

Another great thing that happened this week?! I got my camera back!!! As most of you probably don't know, I FINALLY got my Mark 5D II, but it immediately had a few issues. After sending it back, my baby came home to me! Since I don't have a shoot til next weekend, I couldn't wait to try it out with some natural light! So I took a few photos of myself near one of our larger windows.

Another thing I'm thankful for this week? My new mentee Jihee! I am in love with her! We are incredibly similar and after only spending a couple hours together, it felt like we'd been friends for quite some time. Here are a few photos from our mentee/mentor lunch date that you definitely should not judge me for (:

 

I'm also thankful for... a few additional healthy snacks this week!!! My dad put our magic bullet to good use and made two delicious fruit juices today. They are seriously so scrumpdiliumptious. I can't stop drinking them all up! And he sweetened them with Agave instead of sugar so I feel even healthier about my decision!

 

Also, had to give a shoutout to Starbuck's Perfect Oatmeal because... hello, it's perfect. 

And here's a random picture of my best friend because I think it might embarrass him!

& finally I'll leave you with this beautiful message. Hope you all have a great week! 

Have heart.

There's a young man in my neighborhood named Chris. Ever since we moved here, when I was in first grade, I've spotted Chris wandering throughout the streets of our neighborhood and the connecting few. I honestly feel like this boy, who I've maybe exchanged 5 words with, has made quite a big impact on my life and has taught me a lot, without telling me anything. The interesting about Chris is that every time I see him, he's holding a bouquet of flowers. Sometimes he's just sitting on the sidewalk of the main road, holding his flowers. Or standing there with his flowers in hand, waving as cars pass by. He also works at the neighborhood Kroger from time to time, which is probably how I know his name. I think about him quite a lot and wonder why he always has flowers in hand. It's so obvious that there's something Chris knows, that I don't. But, it's honestly one of my lifelong desires to pause whatever's going on in my life, just one day, stop the car, and go talk to Chris and find out about his story. I've come up with countless reasons for why he holds those flowers, where he gets them, and who he's waiting for, but there's still this unquenchable curiosity of what the true story really is. Honestly, I fear that it's something traumatic, which is also a reason I've never actually stopped to ask him. And I'm also afraid that he's not willing to accept the truth of whatever's really happened, hence him always standing on the side of the road, holding flowers, seemingly waiting for someone who's yet to come 13 years later. But regardless of the countless things I've come up with, every time I see him, he has the biggest smile on his face. Even if it's cold, come rain or shine, he waves and smiles as if there isn't a thing in the world to be worried about. He has this incredibly positive attitude and I can just tell that he has the hugest, happiest heart. Though seeing him always sends my mind on a trip down Wonder Lane, it always brightens up my day. It's funny how without even speaking to a person, you can see their heart. You can tell so much simply through their actions, their attitude, the way they carry themselves, or just how they stand on the sidewalk holding a bouquet of flowers, waving at every new friend that passes by.