In these past few weeks, my spare moments have been filled with so much life-giving time, surrounded by women of Christ of different ages, from different backgrounds, each with particular gifts and crafts, each with their own unique stories to tell. 

In these times I've been able to hear heart aching moments of uncertainty, hurt, and confusion, and sweet moments of peace, joy, healing, and redemption. One thing that seemed to be consistent despite whatever the circumstances placed upon these women, was a woman who was at one point in life left feeling unworthy. Unwanted. Not good enough. 

I feel that so many women struggle with not feeling worthy, with feeling alone, with comparison. Much of it is probably engrained in us from what we see in the media, in society, in the lies we don't even realize we begin believing. But so much of it is also pressured upon us. From loved ones, from ones who tell us or give us the feeling that we aren't good enough. That we should be more like x, y, or z. Not even due to a flaw in our character, but a flaw on our faces, in our weight, in our art, in our personality.  From circumstances that leave us feeling used, mistreated, abused, alone. That who we are isn't enough. And though at times we may tell ourselves this simply isn't true, time and time again we find ourselves at the same point. Possibly a different day, a different offender, or a different person we place upon that pristine pedestal to compare ourselves to. And we find ourselves at that same point asking "Why can't I be more...?"

Why can't I be more like ___________?
Why can't I be more beautiful? Funny? Artistic? Talented?
Why can't I be more?

Well today ladies, I want to break the clouds of confusion and shed some light, the truth, on you. 

God created us with amazing plans for each of us in mind. Specific to each of us. To fill the heart of each of us. He has crafted each of us with immense care, attention and detail. No one knows more of the endless intricacies which beautifully weave together create you, than He. In His love and grace there's no room for envy or doubt, but for peace, faith, and joy. Lean into His truths and have faith that He crafted you perfectly (meaning just as HE intended), with a God sized purpose for your life in mind. He loves and cares for you so immensely and there isn't a force above, below, or on this earth that can make this any less true so you might as well get to believing it! If we really believe this, the opinions of those around us or the seeds of doubt that begin to toy with our minds really wouldn't have vacant space to establish roots. 

There are so many amazing things to do in this lifetime. People to see, meet and love on. Places to visit, that grow you, that you may one day call home. Please, please don't waste your time living with misconstrued beliefs that someone who obviously doesn't even know you that well placed upon you. And even worse, don't live with the self doubt and uncertainty that you've allowed to grow and fester within you. If you allow yourself to believe the way He sees you is the only way which truly counts then you will be free to live freely. You will be able to meet people, SO MANY PEOPLE, who inspire you, encourage you, and push you and will be able to thank God for the new relationships He's allowed you to foster, rather than wondering why another person to be envious of has traveled across your path. You will be able to relish in life's little joys and find beauty in fingerprints, in the shapes of clouds, and an entire slew of other things that may make you feel undeniably cheesy--- but the best part is, YOU WON'T EVEN CARE! You will be able to laugh that once deemed "obnoxious" laugh, to cry that once named "ugly" cry, to dance that once labeled "awkward" dance. You will be able to create art that might not be what everyone else thinks is cool, but that matters to YOU. 

You will be able to enjoy a life that truly has your name written all over it, but even better, one that has God's hands all up in it!

Though we are each given a limited, unidentified amount of time on this earth, believing that we have to be more of anything than who God created us to be does nothing but cut away from the time given to us to be more of OURSELVES. Which is truly when we are able to be the happiest us, when we are living and enjoying life authentically. When we are honoring God by embracing, loving, and being all of who He has called us to be. We will be able to touch the hearts of the very people God has called us to with our individual stories. To leave the impact He specifically, intricately, and purposefully designed each of us to do.

3 I’m speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it’s important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him.

4-6 In this way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around. The body we’re talking about is Christ’s body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body. But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn’t amount to much, would we? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ’s body, let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren’t.        

- Romans 12:3-6

Defining Success

I feel like I've been discussing this a lot with different people, possibly maybe mostly just Tiana ... and in my head, but it's been an important subject to think about: Not letting other people's definition of success define yours... or you. 

background image via Kai & Sunny

I think it's easy to find ourselves saying oh my goodness, they just got featured or landed x client or whatever it may be. Looking at a zillion different people and their successes and forget about the big or small ones we make everyday. I personally, don't know what it is I want to do for the rest of my life. And so when I get so caught up in all of the awesome things others are doing I start to look at myself like a dumbdumb because though that might be what the world or industry defines as success (and would be awesome to add to my list of achievements) it's not MY definition of success. It's not what's going to leave a huge smile on my face as I lay my head down at night. What excites me is when I make a new friend who clicks, when I get to share Jesus with others and they're excited about it, when I do something out of my comfort zone and it feels rewarding, when I have something really delicious in front of my face and the first bite makes me melt into a puddle of happiness. Those things that keep my head spinning when I know I should be long asleep. Apparently these are the things I value and the things should seek to fill my life with.

As Meg Conley put it, "color OUTSIDE the pinterest sized boxes & fill up the storyboard of your life!" There's so much more in this world that what you've already seen done and created. HEAVEN is the limit, and with the big G-O-D, anything is possible, so what lies have you been believing about your life? You don't have to like Beyonce, or gold accessories, or need to be good at calligraphy, or be addicted to coffee! OR YOU CAN BE! If you you dig it! We are all different for a reason. This is a blessing to be able to push each other forward, to collaborate, to stretch and grow each other. You don't have to be the next big thing in order to create something new and different and inspiring to others. And you certainly don't need anyone else's approval to be awesome or for someone to tell you that you're doing a good job to know it. YOU KNOW IT. You're doing your best and you're so freakishly awesome. Like if someone could see the potential inside of you they'd probably pass out from sheer excitement. Haha or at least that's how God looks at you - with adoring eyes, so I know it's true. What I'm constantly reminded is that instead of striving to achieve things I'm not so sure I care about or striving to impress others, I should be striving to love and honor God with my whole heart. I share these things not because I'm great at them but because I constantly, constantly need to be reminded of them. In Him, joy and purpose are found. If you feel inspired or moved by this, it's not because of me but because of something He is igniting within you! It's amazing. If we constantly seek to please man, we'll just end up lost and displeased with ourselves. But God is a neverending source of everything we need in every moment of life - in the silence and in the chaos. My little told me the other day I should practice what I preach and she's right. I wholeheartedly agree. So hopefully here's a shift towards seeking first to love God and love people wholeheartedly, pursuing the passions He's given me specifically - not anyone else's, and allowing myself to fall more and more in love with the life I've been fortunate enough to receive.

chin up, buttercup!

So I've noticed something that's really popular among females currently is this signature pose, looking down and away, hand possibly placed in hair as if to be caught right in the act of pushing a few pieces away from your face. I mean, if you need an example, please shift your eyes to the right to my about me picture haha!

And don't get me wrong, this is a pretty flattering pose. It captures the gentleness of a lady, it might hide the blemish on the other side of your cheek, catch your awesome eyeshadow and wing tipped liner that day, the rosiest part of your cheek and your amazing countour job to boot! Why wouldn't everyone take a photo like this?

But it got me thinking about how sometimes, even in these times that's how women are seen or prefer to be seen. To be looking down and away, to be gentle, soft, afraid to speak up or to speak out, afraid to make a mistake, possibly even dare I say submissive?

But I say, bunk that!
(I really like using that terminology because it sounds so feisty and like it holds a lot of weight but it really means little to nothing far from forget that!)

Chin up, buttercup! What's so bad about looking at the camera head on? About looking something or someone in the eye and saying unapologetically, "This is who I am!"? Humanity appreciates sincerity. We appreciate genuine hearts and vulnerability. Now I'm not saying you have to go around shouting your loudest opinions and deepest secrets to everyone or that you shouldn't make yourself self deemingly presentable in the morning. I'm just saying people will appreciate you being authentically yourself much more than any version of you that is wrapped up in the bits of you that you're trying to hide. And I bet you'll appreciate yourself that much more too.

A fashion post? What?! I know.

So I've been hanging out with my dear friend Tiana, quite a bit recently and let me tell you, this girl has serious style. I'm pretty shocked I haven't included any of our escapades on the blog yet! I'll have to fix that soon. Each time we hang out, we are always up to something creative, snapping photos, arranging items, "elegantly" stuffing our faces, laughing at the ridiculous things that come out of our mouths & striking up conversations with strangers. But in all seriousness, being around her not only encourages me to be kinder and to love on others really well, but also to actually try with my appearance. Now don't get me wrong, I do make an effort to make myself presentable everyday, but in general I'm just extraordinarily lazy when it comes to it. I usually don't like matching and I'll throw on a bag and shoes that will round out an overall feel of an outfit instead of trying to put pieces together that really work. And then I'll grab whatever accessories I have laying around and voila! So it usually takes me about 2-5 minutes to get dressed, including scouring the area for something that I don't have to iron. My mentality is that your attitude contributes to your overall look a lot as well. So I just put together whatever I feel like and then believe I can pull it off haha. However, for this special blog post, I figured I would throw in a little more effort and show you guys a few different ways I would style a black leotard. I wanted to make this fun, so I figured I'd go for a few different looks. One out for a casual brunch downtown, one for a concert and one out for a night on the town with friends.


out for brunch

An Interview with Chasing Linen's Dianuh Kim

Today, I am sososo excited to feature my very first interview! This has been something that has been on my heart for almost two years now and has been falling from my lips for at least a year. I'm so excited to have finally begun this process.

It's also a double fold event to celebrate because it also happens to be my very special guest's 1 year anniversary for her watercolor business!

Our featured guest today is:

blog//etsy

Don't Be The Great Somebody

I think we all have this inclination towards glitz and glamour. -- Or if you don't, wow you're really cool, can we be friends because I need a little bit more of someone like you in my life.-- But I often have to reel myself back in and remind me what it is I'm called to do in this life.

It's so easy to just keep reaching up, reaching for more, seeking out people who are doing what you only hope to be doing, to inspire and teach you. And this is great. Really, mentorship is a great thing you guys. But this isn't how we are supposed to live. It's not all about what can be done for us. No, when we are reaching up, we need to be reaching to God, for greater compassion, for greater love, for greater strength, so that when we serve, we serve through Him. Looking up to Him, so we can then fix our gazes lower to see those we can help and serve. I mean yes, I get this excitement, something inside of me is just ignited when I'm in a room full of talent and surrounded by a community of artists where I just feel overwhelmed and inspired. But honestly, Ive learned so much more about the fruits of the spirit in moments when I've been able to connect with or aide someone that was in need of a service that I was able to provide. I've experienced most of my greatest, most in depth moments with God when I've been able to pray over and for people in my generation, who are confused, hurting, lost, and yearning for more.

I think this reminder by my sweet insta friend, Meshali is just great summary of this.

"Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen." - 1 Peter 4:9-11

"We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your^[a] faith; ⁷ if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; ⁸ if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead,^[b] do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully". -  Romans 12:6-8

 "Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they’re happy; share tears when they’re down. Get along with each other; don’t be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don’t be the great somebody." - Romans 12:17

Each of us has a desire inside of us to do something great, as we see greatness in our own eyes.  Whether that be to become famous or helping to discover a cure for a disease or saving wildlife or to serve The Lord with all of our being. And that's wonderful. But I know I have to remember to lock my focus on the greatest things I've been called to do in this life:

“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ - Matthew 22:37-39

A shot in the dark can be a shot towards the light.

I could say being a woman, or being a young adult, or being a millenial-- but I can't really speak for everyone so I'm just going to say being me. Being me, the older I get, the more I learn, the less I'm sure of. Everything becomes more of a possibility. The world becomes smaller, yet infinitely vast all at once. I know they say that you dream much less and much smaller as an adult, but I wouldn't say the same for me. I mean, my thoughts might have been more scattered in my youth and then seemingly indefinitely focused for a few weeks and then off to chase the trail of the next misplaced dream. But now, everything seems so much more tangible. Like it's all so much more of a reality.

But being me, I don't want to be committed to being one thing my entire life. With some exceptions. A girl, yes. My parents daughter, yes. A child of The Most High, yes. A wife to a husband one day, of course! But to one thing, no. To one profession, definitely not. Do I want to be a wedding photographer forever? No. Do I want to continue to capture moments for the rest of my life? Yes. With a camera? Why not- or whatever medium it may be - through writing short stories or poetry, or painting, wherever creative endeavors may take me. Do I want to be an artist forever? Most definitely. I feel like the word artist can be so vague, but maybe it's best that way. Some people are artists in the way they think, the way the speak, or just the way they view things. Art is obviously something you can't easily put into in a category, and similar to beauty, it's something that's subjectivity lies in the eye of the beholder.

I love dabbling in different mediums to express art, but it's hard to call myself one thing. A calligrapher, a photographer, a writer, a painter? But I often cross the fear of labeling myself as everything - when I don't know if I'll ever be thoroughly developed in anything! I begin to sound like that scatterbrained little girl again, huh? But it's quite the opposite. Because what then I only hoped for, now I know is within arms length. (Well it's still a little similar, but give me a break I'm 22, I don't have it all together). And truly, I believe at the depths of it all, we all just want to do something great.

As I've gotten older, I've found one thing I know is that I relish in greatness. I love great voices, that make me dance without regard to who's watching. I love great design, that makes me just want to take a solid moment to delight my eyes with the immaculate creativity of another's imagination. I love great food, that makes me wish I had more in my plate after I've only taken the first bite, knowing that I won't be able to even finish what's before me. I love great people - now let me pause this for a moment and say I have met some really, really great people. I kind of have a hobby of befriending amazing people, and it's wonderful. I've met some of the most incredible people I could've ever hoped to meet in this lifetime, with such amazing stories, such depths of love, intelligence, passion, vision, and artistic talent. The kind that stun me with their neverending generosity, and the depth of their hearts, and tickle me with the sweetness of their laughter. And I love a great God, that makes all of this possible. That has granted me with these passions, and placed me where I can fuel these desires and dwell in surroundings that make my heart swell. And I'm so grateful.

So maybe you're not sure what it is you're exactly hoping for. Maybe you're not positive in what it is that you want to do. But trust in this - do your best. Surround yourself with those who identify your talents, lift you up, and push you in the infinite directions that your potential may lead. Try something new - something you are absolutely positive you'll suck at. Go somewhere by yourself, even if it's to the local coffee shop, and strike up a conversation with a stranger (old people are always easy to do this with, or someone who looks like they're having a bad day or that has particularly tasteful style is always easy to whom to pay a compliment.) Be ready to jump on that friendship bandwagon!

Just don't stay stagnant.

Keep moving, keep dreaming, keep ACTUALIZING. You know, making your dreams & vision, an ACTUAL thing.

And take a shot.

a shot in the dark can be a shot towards the light.