I could say being a woman, or being a young adult, or being a millenial-- but I can't really speak for everyone so I'm just going to say being me. Being me, the older I get, the more I learn, the less I'm sure of. Everything becomes more of a possibility. The world becomes smaller, yet infinitely vast all at once. I know they say that you dream much less and much smaller as an adult, but I wouldn't say the same for me. I mean, my thoughts might have been more scattered in my youth and then seemingly indefinitely focused for a few weeks and then off to chase the trail of the next misplaced dream. But now, everything seems so much more tangible. Like it's all so much more of a reality.
But being me, I don't want to be committed to being one thing my entire life. With some exceptions. A girl, yes. My parents daughter, yes. A child of The Most High, yes. A wife to a husband one day, of course! But to one thing, no. To one profession, definitely not. Do I want to be a wedding photographer forever? No. Do I want to continue to capture moments for the rest of my life? Yes. With a camera? Why not- or whatever medium it may be - through writing short stories or poetry, or painting, wherever creative endeavors may take me. Do I want to be an artist forever? Most definitely. I feel like the word artist can be so vague, but maybe it's best that way. Some people are artists in the way they think, the way the speak, or just the way they view things. Art is obviously something you can't easily put into in a category, and similar to beauty, it's something that's subjectivity lies in the eye of the beholder.
I love dabbling in different mediums to express art, but it's hard to call myself one thing. A calligrapher, a photographer, a writer, a painter? But I often cross the fear of labeling myself as everything - when I don't know if I'll ever be thoroughly developed in anything! I begin to sound like that scatterbrained little girl again, huh? But it's quite the opposite. Because what then I only hoped for, now I know is within arms length. (Well it's still a little similar, but give me a break I'm 22, I don't have it all together). And truly, I believe at the depths of it all, we all just want to do something great.
As I've gotten older, I've found one thing I know is that I relish in greatness. I love great voices, that make me dance without regard to who's watching. I love great design, that makes me just want to take a solid moment to delight my eyes with the immaculate creativity of another's imagination. I love great food, that makes me wish I had more in my plate after I've only taken the first bite, knowing that I won't be able to even finish what's before me. I love great people - now let me pause this for a moment and say I have met some really, really great people. I kind of have a hobby of befriending amazing people, and it's wonderful. I've met some of the most incredible people I could've ever hoped to meet in this lifetime, with such amazing stories, such depths of love, intelligence, passion, vision, and artistic talent. The kind that stun me with their neverending generosity, and the depth of their hearts, and tickle me with the sweetness of their laughter. And I love a great God, that makes all of this possible. That has granted me with these passions, and placed me where I can fuel these desires and dwell in surroundings that make my heart swell. And I'm so grateful.
So maybe you're not sure what it is you're exactly hoping for. Maybe you're not positive in what it is that you want to do. But trust in this - do your best. Surround yourself with those who identify your talents, lift you up, and push you in the infinite directions that your potential may lead. Try something new - something you are absolutely positive you'll suck at. Go somewhere by yourself, even if it's to the local coffee shop, and strike up a conversation with a stranger (old people are always easy to do this with, or someone who looks like they're having a bad day or that has particularly tasteful style is always easy to whom to pay a compliment.) Be ready to jump on that friendship bandwagon!
Just don't stay stagnant.
Keep moving, keep dreaming, keep ACTUALIZING. You know, making your dreams & vision, an ACTUAL thing.
And take a shot.
