Monday, January 28, 2013

At this point in my life, I feel like I've been dealt a hand of adversity. Not to be mistaken with a bad hand. It's a good hand. A hand that allows me to stop, think, learn and grow. What would that be? A full house? All 7's? I don't know; I've never played poker. A hand of adversity can often seem to be a bad hand though, if you don't have the right mindset; if you don't understand God's plan for your life. But if you put your faith in him and take a moment to reflect on Psalm 46:10 {Be still and know that I am God.} you might learn to feel differently. That's what I did this weekend. I took a step back. I chose not to focus on my anger and direct my energy to focus on God and what He was saying to me. I chose to pay attention to his signs and the small convictions in my heart. And when I chose to ignore them, well He stepped in anyways and made me listen. It was nice. I love those times when I can stop and laugh and say "Okay, Father! I hear you now." So that's what I did this weekend. And what he showed me was a whole bunch of adversity. He also showed me how if I deal with it properly, with His word in my thoughts and in my heart, this adversity can be translated into a whole bunch of growth. Sometimes, it's easy to get distracted with our own agendas and forget what our purpose is here. We are allowed to be upset, because even our God gets angry. We are allowed to be hurt, because even our God becomes disappointed. But these things don't give us excuses to forget our purpose, to bring glory to Him. A hand of adversity doesn't give us the right to give up, because God told us there would be trials along the way. They threw stones and cursed at the Most Holy, I should not be surprised at the things they'll try to throw my way. But I reassuringly find my peace in the Most High and his promises. There are no spoilers, just little hints and whispers about which way to go. The endings aren't revealed to you like in a movie or a short novel, but instead more like a series. Like a Harry Potter Series, but the books really don't stop coming. I'm just really grateful that I took time out to be still. I hope to engage in this so much more because it really is so much easier to hear God's voice when you're not allowing yourself to be polluted with so many distractions.

Another thing God's put on my heart that's been especially apparent recently is passionate people. I've always known I was passionate about them, but I never really formed it into an idea. I recently recognized the reoccuring pattern and I feel like just knowing what's been put on my heart gives me so much more clarity. I feel as if every time I tell people I'm passionate about passionate people, it just makes no sense. Like people nod and tell me it makes sense and that they understand but I don't think they do. I am seriously overwhelmingly passionate about passionate people. I feel like I'll never be able to convey it to the point where I feel that it's truly understood. I can literally feel as a certain spot in my heart turns soft and tender as I encounter someone who's incredibly passionate about what they're doing. But that's not to say any type of passion. People can be passionate about a lot of things that don't give anything back, that don't pay anything forward. However, when you can tell someone is doing something they love out of pure love, to touch hearts, to encourage people, not the fame or the money or the status, it's just so beautiful and moving. I've met so many people that inspire me from the core, that keep me passionate about passionate people and I'm so thankful for that.

Contrary to popular belief of those who don't know me very well, I'm honestly not a very nice person. I'm not a BAD person. I'm just really not nice. I can be nice, but at my core I'm not flowers and daisies. At my core I'm full of truth and letting it be known. If you're an amazing person, I'll go to no ends to make sure you're recognized for those traits that make you who you are. If you're not so amazing of a person... well honestly I want that to be known too, but I'm doing my best to allow my Savior to transform my mindset and in turn transform my heart. At my core, I'm full of passion and desire to do more with myself and my life and that same desire for others. I'm full of desire for transformation and mindboggling miracles. Desire for warm hearts full of love. Desire of endless joy. At my core I'm an honest person who hungers for truth and justice alongside love and peace. I'm someone who desires and demands respect along with harmony and understanding. I feel like if you understand my fundamentals, then you'd have no trouble understanding why I will forever love One Republic. Please don't even get me started on Ryan Tedder! A man full of passion and talent! A constant source of inspiration for me. From Goodbye Apathy to Secrets to Feel Again, he and his magical team of musicians constantly deliver. I mean, honestly how can you love passion and truth and not love One Republic? I don't need you to answer that! This post has obviously taken a turn for the RANDOM! I tried to keep it cohesive but perhaps my mind isn't a cohesive unit. Something else I'm working on :)

No comments:

Post a Comment